SO WRONG… SO IT’S HER YOU WANT (3)

“What do I keep on doing that is so wrong. What’s wrong with me. i keep on making the same mistake and I don’t even realize it. I should just give up, I don’t know what I am doing, but whatever it is I am doing it wrong. He’s always mad at me, I’m surprised he is still here. Well, he loves me, he knows why and God knows why. he still puts up with me. What is it that I am doing so wrong? After the Easter ordeal I thought it would be him making it up to me, but no, yet again I find myself in this position. It’s his fault, right, that he cheated, it had nothing to do with me, right?”

“Right. You are a strong beautiful, talented woman, you need to move on.”

“I was on cloud nine, happy. Now I plaster an awkward smile on my face so that no one can ask me what’s wrong. I can’t answer that question. It’s too complicated, too humiliating. Slowly I’ll go back to being me, it will take some time. But, I’m so attached to him. It’s wrong, I know that, but I can’t seem to be able to let go. I don’t understand why he is always so mad at me though. I made nice with the girl I found in his bed, tolerated her when he claimed that he needed her for a project. yes, I am that dumb. But I’ll find that girl, the girl who I was before him. I heard her voice the other day. I trembled. She felt so alive for a while, before she started gasping for breath. She was being suffocated by me. I don’t trust anyone at this point. Not even myself.”

13

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s